I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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