I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
