And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
