i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
