a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
