so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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