She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
