So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wish my penis had a tongue
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
