I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
