I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
