I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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