i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
