walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
