SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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