There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
