it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i've created a new STD.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
