You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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