you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
