Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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