Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
