I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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