How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
