no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I FOUND THE LEGS
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
