She said her name was "party"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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