Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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