in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
