i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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