ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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