ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
