Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have tasted many bathrooms
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
