There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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