dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
