What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
