haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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