i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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