We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
