guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
