I want to stick my p in your. b.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
