a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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