Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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