we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
