Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
