Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
there is glitter all over my balls
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