so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He better not be in your backpack
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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