____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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