BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
