Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina

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(985): View more from Louisiana

And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

(609): View more from New Jersey

And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

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(443): View more from Maryland

theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN

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(434): View more from Virginia

THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.

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(305): View more from Florida

so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on

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(585): View more from New York

We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.

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