Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
