I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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