i can't believe i had my finger in that
it glows. i had to have it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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