How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
