Whod you bang
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
