And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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