and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
