What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
