the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
